We had our first childbirth preparation class this morning. It was very different from what I imagined, ya know, the prep classes from all the shows, where you learn the "Lamaze" way of breathing. Next week we will learn about breathing techinques and different positions to try, but this week we watched some videos and learned about the labor process in depth, while being able to answer questions. I really enjoyed our nurse who taught us. She offered a lot of insight and wisdom. Attila and I both agreed it was really good to learn about the different stages of labor and what to expect for each one. It brought our minds to ease, especially about when to know the right time of going to the hospital. This week, we learned about what to expect in a natral childbirth and next week we will learn about all the "interventions" that can happen. Our nurse really stressed that if you're choosing a natural childbirth, the critical time is the "transition" phase, when contractactions and pain can be the most intense. She said, honestly, this is when most moms say "I can't do this anymore!" She stressed to talk with your "support person" (aka my hubby) before labor begins so they know if they need to talk you through this time or to listen to what you want in that moment and let the nurses know if pain meds can really be administered. She said some moms who do ask for an epidural at this time will afterward say they wished they wouldn't have gotten one because it wasn't much longer till baby was born. Many moms who do have a natural birth very quickly forget the pain and say "That wasn't so bad!"
We watched a video of a couple's journey in labor and it was really inspiring. The woman was very honest about her pain. They checked her at one point and she was 5 cm dialated and she said, "Oh you have got to be kidding me, I can't do this anymore". Her midwife and husband were great at talking her through it. They also showed the techniques she and her husband used to cope with the pain of contractions, and it was really beautiful to watch them in such harmony. Their communication was great and they worked really well together. It was obvious that it wasn't an easy birth but it was a very positive experience for their whole family in the end. I loved it! At the beginning of the class, I was a little overwhelmed at how much my body is going to go through and how difficult it may be, but by the end, I was at ease and ready to begin the process of mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself for this labor and birth. I learned that during the really hard times, I need to be dependant on my husband's support and his encouragement. Once I am 7-8 cm dialated, it may be difficult, but I have to remember that it WILL be over soon and the end result is a baby!!
I think we are going to start figuring out what kind of music we want to listen to during labor and I even want to think of ways we can pray throughout it all, too. Ahh, we are so excited for this new adventure!!!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Growing pains
We have our first childbirth prep class this Saturday, I am so excited! It's going to make things so much more "real", I hope! I'm getting really anxious for this baby to get here, especially as my body is going through such drastic changes. I just read on a website the other day that some moms can experience a type of depression during their pregnancy. I can relate at times. I will be honest that its not always easy to be joyful during pregnancy, especially when you get a quick glimpse in the mirror of what you now look like. I've never put on this much weight in so little a time and I feel the past month I haven't been the best at minding how much I eat or the healthiness of what I'm eating and now all of the sudden I feel poopy. And I've also been experiencing some really crazy growing pains! Its getting harder and harder to be comfortable at night when I'm trying to sleep, and I often feel like my bladder is going to fall out when I walk!
But as I was making one of my many trips to the bathroom (and yes, sitting on the toilet) I realized that this is all happening in order that another human person may be brought into this world. I don't always automatically remember that in times of discomfort and low self-esteem.
Amidst some of the discomfort, there are times of great joy, too. These are mostly when this baby is moving around so much. I just have to laugh out loud sometimes with joy! The movements are getting so big and strong, I can feel it my butt! Gotta be honest, I just have to laugh at this sensation! Another moment of joy and laughter was when I was watching my good friends two little boys after school. I said, "Guys, the babys kicking, wanna feel? And the cute little first grader innocently put his hand on my chest instead of my belly and said "Here?". Then as we watched some PBS show, he just sat there with his hand on my belly, so nonchalantly. He kept asking "How does the baby get in there? Little girls don't have bellies with babies, how do big girls get them?" and I would say "You have to be married and love your husband and wife so much" and he just couldn't take that answer. Not being his parent, I had to leave it at that :) So cute and innocent, little boys must be so fun :)
But as I was making one of my many trips to the bathroom (and yes, sitting on the toilet) I realized that this is all happening in order that another human person may be brought into this world. I don't always automatically remember that in times of discomfort and low self-esteem.
Amidst some of the discomfort, there are times of great joy, too. These are mostly when this baby is moving around so much. I just have to laugh out loud sometimes with joy! The movements are getting so big and strong, I can feel it my butt! Gotta be honest, I just have to laugh at this sensation! Another moment of joy and laughter was when I was watching my good friends two little boys after school. I said, "Guys, the babys kicking, wanna feel? And the cute little first grader innocently put his hand on my chest instead of my belly and said "Here?". Then as we watched some PBS show, he just sat there with his hand on my belly, so nonchalantly. He kept asking "How does the baby get in there? Little girls don't have bellies with babies, how do big girls get them?" and I would say "You have to be married and love your husband and wife so much" and he just couldn't take that answer. Not being his parent, I had to leave it at that :) So cute and innocent, little boys must be so fun :)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The Simple Life
As I hit about the 3 months to go mark, I'm getting very anxious about all that needs to be done before the little one gets here. Our "guest bedroom" is still a "catch all" with not much room in the closet for new baby clothes and gear. We still have our bills and files just randomly sitting on top of one of the dressers. I'd like this room to be the baby's and the status of it right now is a little stressful. There is also the task of registering for things for our showers and of course, I want to register for things I really think I will use and will really need. In both of these things, planning the "nursery" and registering for new things, a big part of me wants to get all this cute, new stuff that matches and looks great. I want a "design" for the baby room. This would also cost a good amount of money to do all this.
Something I feel the Lord has been putting on my heart lately is simplicity. I just desire, and by His grace am able to sometimes, have a simple trust in Him that we will have everything we need for this baby. Is it crucial to my child's rearing that they have all "cute" and "new" things? Will they even know the difference if their crib was bought new or used? 20 years from now, will my child say "I really wish my Mom and Dad (and rest of family) bought me a lot more things" ? I'm thinking the answer is no to all this. In the past couple weeks, the Lord has softened my heart to be so grateful and content with things people are willing to give to us for our baby that are used, free of charge. Someone has offered to give us their old "pack n play" and a used car seat/ stroller. Are they going to match everything else? Probably not. But those are two less things we'll have to buy and I am so grateful for that! I also know that I can be creative and will make our child's room look "cute" and coordinated, even with a modge podge of things. It's pretty exciting actually! The thought of other people helping us out by donating their old stuff to us gives me a great sense of community and am humbled by people's eagerness to help us out.
Today is the anniversary of Roe V. Wade, the case that legalized abortion. As I am carrying my unborn child, I have a new awareness and understanding for women who find themselves in scary and tough situations. And it saddens me that many women choose abortion because they are lacking this sense of a community who are willing to support them. We fail. Let us all make the sacrifices needed to lift up the greater good of our community and those individuals who need our help the most. God grant us the strength to lift up our heads and be compassionate!
Something I feel the Lord has been putting on my heart lately is simplicity. I just desire, and by His grace am able to sometimes, have a simple trust in Him that we will have everything we need for this baby. Is it crucial to my child's rearing that they have all "cute" and "new" things? Will they even know the difference if their crib was bought new or used? 20 years from now, will my child say "I really wish my Mom and Dad (and rest of family) bought me a lot more things" ? I'm thinking the answer is no to all this. In the past couple weeks, the Lord has softened my heart to be so grateful and content with things people are willing to give to us for our baby that are used, free of charge. Someone has offered to give us their old "pack n play" and a used car seat/ stroller. Are they going to match everything else? Probably not. But those are two less things we'll have to buy and I am so grateful for that! I also know that I can be creative and will make our child's room look "cute" and coordinated, even with a modge podge of things. It's pretty exciting actually! The thought of other people helping us out by donating their old stuff to us gives me a great sense of community and am humbled by people's eagerness to help us out.
Today is the anniversary of Roe V. Wade, the case that legalized abortion. As I am carrying my unborn child, I have a new awareness and understanding for women who find themselves in scary and tough situations. And it saddens me that many women choose abortion because they are lacking this sense of a community who are willing to support them. We fail. Let us all make the sacrifices needed to lift up the greater good of our community and those individuals who need our help the most. God grant us the strength to lift up our heads and be compassionate!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Home Stretch
So, I haven't posted in like 3 weeks, woops! Going back to work after Christmas break has been an adjustment and I think things are settling down a little bit. I decided I would update about how the pregnany is going!
My baby is growing!! Maybe the next post will be an announcement about the gender, I keep forgetting we haven't put it up here or on Facebook, so many friends from outta town don't know yet! In the past few weeks, I am so surprised every time I look in the mirror at how many new stretch marks I have! I haven't been the best at puttin the cocoa butter on, and I know eventually, as I have more kids, the stretch marks would come anyway. It's something that I myself cannot be worried about and I'm OK with that. This is my new life! With stretch marks come some crazy muscle pains, what is called "round ligament pains". Man oh man, I feel like the muscles in my pelvic area are being pulled like rubber bands. It hurts most when I've been sitting for a while and I get up too quick. This baby, as all babies I think, is also putting a lot of pressure on my bladder. Just walking around can be painful! I am also losing my sense of balance, which is normal, too. We went to the doc this past Thursday and I found out I've gained about 20 pounds total, which I'm a little self-conscious about. I don't FEEL 20 pounds heavier. Obviously the bulk of weight is in the tummy area too,but I know my hips are also a lil bigger, which is no surprise for my body type!
Something else that has been happening is that my right hand has been falling asleep at night and I wake up in pain. I will shake it out, but it goes right back to sleep. Then when I wake up and am getting ready for the day, I notice that its not so much asleep but when I go to grab something, I feel pain and tingling. Our midwife said that I probably have carpel tunnel! I honestly just chalked it up to "poor circulation" but I guess in pregnancy the carpel tunnel nerve that runs down our arm and into our rest, like other things, can become swollen thus causing problems. Crazy! So if it gets worse I may be sleeping with a splint, but we'll see. It's just another of those things that surpises me about my pregnant body.
In a couple weeks we will start our series of Childbirth prep classes. I'm excited and think it will make things more real. I'm really excited to start getting Attila more involved by helping me with learning relaxation methods, as we are going to try for a natural childbirth (i.e. no epidural, pitocin, etc.). Don't worry, if needed we will be in a hospital, so if things need to be induced or an emergency happens, I understand that its ok. But they will try to be avoided and our midwife is trained in natural childbirth. As much as I can be scared about experiencing all that pain, I have a feeling that it will be a very good journey for me and my baby and my husband, one that will strengthen our family a whole lot. If you know me well (like my parents and siblings know this) I don't do well with physical pain and discomfort. I can be whiny and complainy. Already, this pregnancy is forcing me outta that (slowly but surely) and I know this pregnancy and birth is going to sanctify me so that I may go outside of myself and unite myself to Our Lord.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I am excited and getting more excited to meet our little one after this time of joyful (and somewhat penitential) time of anticipation!
My baby is growing!! Maybe the next post will be an announcement about the gender, I keep forgetting we haven't put it up here or on Facebook, so many friends from outta town don't know yet! In the past few weeks, I am so surprised every time I look in the mirror at how many new stretch marks I have! I haven't been the best at puttin the cocoa butter on, and I know eventually, as I have more kids, the stretch marks would come anyway. It's something that I myself cannot be worried about and I'm OK with that. This is my new life! With stretch marks come some crazy muscle pains, what is called "round ligament pains". Man oh man, I feel like the muscles in my pelvic area are being pulled like rubber bands. It hurts most when I've been sitting for a while and I get up too quick. This baby, as all babies I think, is also putting a lot of pressure on my bladder. Just walking around can be painful! I am also losing my sense of balance, which is normal, too. We went to the doc this past Thursday and I found out I've gained about 20 pounds total, which I'm a little self-conscious about. I don't FEEL 20 pounds heavier. Obviously the bulk of weight is in the tummy area too,but I know my hips are also a lil bigger, which is no surprise for my body type!
Something else that has been happening is that my right hand has been falling asleep at night and I wake up in pain. I will shake it out, but it goes right back to sleep. Then when I wake up and am getting ready for the day, I notice that its not so much asleep but when I go to grab something, I feel pain and tingling. Our midwife said that I probably have carpel tunnel! I honestly just chalked it up to "poor circulation" but I guess in pregnancy the carpel tunnel nerve that runs down our arm and into our rest, like other things, can become swollen thus causing problems. Crazy! So if it gets worse I may be sleeping with a splint, but we'll see. It's just another of those things that surpises me about my pregnant body.
In a couple weeks we will start our series of Childbirth prep classes. I'm excited and think it will make things more real. I'm really excited to start getting Attila more involved by helping me with learning relaxation methods, as we are going to try for a natural childbirth (i.e. no epidural, pitocin, etc.). Don't worry, if needed we will be in a hospital, so if things need to be induced or an emergency happens, I understand that its ok. But they will try to be avoided and our midwife is trained in natural childbirth. As much as I can be scared about experiencing all that pain, I have a feeling that it will be a very good journey for me and my baby and my husband, one that will strengthen our family a whole lot. If you know me well (like my parents and siblings know this) I don't do well with physical pain and discomfort. I can be whiny and complainy. Already, this pregnancy is forcing me outta that (slowly but surely) and I know this pregnancy and birth is going to sanctify me so that I may go outside of myself and unite myself to Our Lord.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I am excited and getting more excited to meet our little one after this time of joyful (and somewhat penitential) time of anticipation!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Walk
Merry Christmas! We've made it back home, and let me say, Christmas was beautiful this year. We spent some great time with family and remained calmed, relaxed and peaceful through it all, which is such a blessing. I told you God would be faithful in answering my plea for peace! But boy the transition back home has been hard. It was like a 4 day vacation and now I have to come home and get back on top of things. Oh, see, right now I can hear the buzzer of the washer beckoning me. Yesterday was our first day back and it was so hard for me to be motivated to do what I needed to do. Before Christmas, I was in a really good groove. My pregnant body was used to doing work and I had a good routine of prayer. It's all thrown off now! I am 22 1/2 weeks pregnant now, and this baby is growing! So many times I am just so uncomfortable because I know they are pressing up agianst something, usually my bladder or stomach. For about a week I've had the mentality of "here we go, here it comes, the crazy crazy body transformation".
Today's first reading, from John, he says "This is the way we may know we are union with him: whoever claims to abide in him ought to walk just as he walked". How did Jesus "walk"? Well the biggest walk of his life was carrying a cross to his crucifixion, and ultimately to the Resurrectin. So we ought to walk like that? Yes, we ought to pick up the crosses of our lives so that they may bring us closer to God. Today, my "cross" is a messy house. The rest of this week, it is beginnig the big task of organizing our guest room so that it may be the baby's room. For the next 3 1/2 months, it will be embracing the aches and pains that come with carrying my beloved child and bringing them into the world. These all call me to go beyond myself, to choose to do what I don't want to do for the best of my husband and child (and myself, too). I am called to sacrifice my own will. I would much rather sit around the house lazy all day, reading books,scanning the internet and looking at baby stuff online. I would much rather not go through physical pain and wish my baby could magically appear. But I am called to something greater; I am called to walk as Jesus did, laying down my life for those I love. Thank you, beloved Apostle John, for reminding me of this : )
Today's first reading, from John, he says "This is the way we may know we are union with him: whoever claims to abide in him ought to walk just as he walked". How did Jesus "walk"? Well the biggest walk of his life was carrying a cross to his crucifixion, and ultimately to the Resurrectin. So we ought to walk like that? Yes, we ought to pick up the crosses of our lives so that they may bring us closer to God. Today, my "cross" is a messy house. The rest of this week, it is beginnig the big task of organizing our guest room so that it may be the baby's room. For the next 3 1/2 months, it will be embracing the aches and pains that come with carrying my beloved child and bringing them into the world. These all call me to go beyond myself, to choose to do what I don't want to do for the best of my husband and child (and myself, too). I am called to sacrifice my own will. I would much rather sit around the house lazy all day, reading books,scanning the internet and looking at baby stuff online. I would much rather not go through physical pain and wish my baby could magically appear. But I am called to something greater; I am called to walk as Jesus did, laying down my life for those I love. Thank you, beloved Apostle John, for reminding me of this : )
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A Gentle Child
Christmas is almost here, Allelulia! I've been on break from work...yes the joy of working in the school system. It is such a God-send, too. Since Monday, I've had very restful, yet productive, and prayer-filled days. I told myself at the beginning of the week that I am going to take one day at a time and not get any big expectations of what to accomplish. How great life is without looming expectations! It's Thursday and all our shopping is done and presents are wrapped. I cooked a great dinner on Tuesday and have good leftovers all week, which cuts down on things to do, too. Every little thing I've done, whether wrapping or some sort of craft, I've made sure to clean up the mess right away and put things back in their place. That way I wasn't flooded with mini projects all around the house (which is what I used to do in high school and college at home, my poor mother hated it). I've had many conversations with the Lord and meditated on Scripture. I'm so thankful I got this time because tomorrow we're headed to South Bend and BAM, it will be go, go, go. I'm really hoping and praying that this week of rest and prayer is a good foundation for the busyness that lies ahead at home, that I can continue to keep the Lord's peace in my heart. There is always an inner battle going on within me between pleasing others and pleasing God (not just during Christmas season, either) and sometimes that can bring anxiety to my heart. I really have to just "let go" of so many things so I can be more present with God and with our loved ones.
I'm relying on God so much for this and I thank Him for reminding me of my need for Him. I can't solve every problem and I can't bring any joy to our family if I'm always so worried! I need His grace and healing and I have hope and trust that He will come into my heart as a gentle Child so that I may experience His love and give love back to him and our families. Just as He comes to us as a child, I go to him as his daughter, with confidence in his faithfulness. I'm so excited to recieve Him this Christmas! I really truly pray these same things for you!
I'm relying on God so much for this and I thank Him for reminding me of my need for Him. I can't solve every problem and I can't bring any joy to our family if I'm always so worried! I need His grace and healing and I have hope and trust that He will come into my heart as a gentle Child so that I may experience His love and give love back to him and our families. Just as He comes to us as a child, I go to him as his daughter, with confidence in his faithfulness. I'm so excited to recieve Him this Christmas! I really truly pray these same things for you!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Small successes and a big milestone
This past Tuesday we had our first ultrasound. It was amazing, I still can't believe that I got to sit there for half an hour and watch my lil baby move around. The mystery of this baby's life is a little less a mystery! They move, suck their thumb, rub their eyes, roll over, etc. We did find out the gender which really makes things "more real". Slowly, we will tell people. Once we decide to put it on Facebook the whole world will know and its good for me to keep this a secret for a little bit. I love calling them by the little nickname we have for them. I'm already so in love with this child. Last week, I was home alone while Attila was at a meeting in the evening. I brought myself to tears because I wanted to cuddle with my baby more then anything in the world. I always have this fear that something is going to go wrong. I just wanna get this baby here, safe and healthy. But it is a journey of trust; trust that my body can do this and trust that everything will happen in due time, in His time. And trust that I will have the strength to face all that will come our way, no matter what. I am always brought back to such joyful anticipation for this new life!
On a lighter note, I recently came across a website called "Faith and Family: the Magazine and Blog for Daily Catholic Living" (http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/). Its a compilation of many women (and some men) who give insight about daily life as a Catholic person, with mostly advice on marriage, parenting and homemaking. It gets me so excited! This is what I need, little things to do everyday to live more faithfully my vocation. Each day there are blogs with specific themes, and I came across one today (Thursday) that I really like. This one focuses on our "small successes" and says "it’s important for moms to recognize that all the small successes in our days can add up to one big triumph." So they encourage other bloggers to list 3 successes they've had in the past week. I think anyone can do this, whether you're a mom, dad, single person, grandparent, etc. We all need some encouragement, especially when life gets to be a big routine. I really need to do something like this because I can often be so hard on myself. I put up so many expectations for myself, and they are mostly in the house category, like I "don't clean the house faithfully on a weekly basis, so I suck." I look at how I need to mop or do laundry and how often I end up NOT doing those things. What ends up happening is my dear husband will do them and then I get mad at how poorly he did it. It's a vicious cycle, really. So, I am hoping that if I can list some of my small successes, it will motivate me to keep my hopes up and be better at things I would like to improve on. Whatever works, Lord!
Today, I:
1. Cleaned off the snow on my own car in the morning without one ounce of complaining. My hubby is quite sick and I knew that was the last thing he needed in the morning.
2. Cooked Chicken Parmesan, a new recipe for me. I love cooking and haven't done much in the past week; we've resorted to easy, sometimes fast food in our chaotic week. Whole wheat pasta and fresh green beans, yay for healthy!
3. Did the ALL the dishes after dinner and wiped down the kitchen. This is HUGE for me. I loathe doing the dishes and am really good at letting them pile up. It was the least I could do for Attila, who did the dishes before I came home from work. Did I mention he's been sick?! I am making him go to the doctor tomorrow!
There ya go, my small successes. I give them to you, Lord. Your grace was a help!
On a lighter note, I recently came across a website called "Faith and Family: the Magazine and Blog for Daily Catholic Living" (http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/). Its a compilation of many women (and some men) who give insight about daily life as a Catholic person, with mostly advice on marriage, parenting and homemaking. It gets me so excited! This is what I need, little things to do everyday to live more faithfully my vocation. Each day there are blogs with specific themes, and I came across one today (Thursday) that I really like. This one focuses on our "small successes" and says "it’s important for moms to recognize that all the small successes in our days can add up to one big triumph." So they encourage other bloggers to list 3 successes they've had in the past week. I think anyone can do this, whether you're a mom, dad, single person, grandparent, etc. We all need some encouragement, especially when life gets to be a big routine. I really need to do something like this because I can often be so hard on myself. I put up so many expectations for myself, and they are mostly in the house category, like I "don't clean the house faithfully on a weekly basis, so I suck." I look at how I need to mop or do laundry and how often I end up NOT doing those things. What ends up happening is my dear husband will do them and then I get mad at how poorly he did it. It's a vicious cycle, really. So, I am hoping that if I can list some of my small successes, it will motivate me to keep my hopes up and be better at things I would like to improve on. Whatever works, Lord!
Today, I:
1. Cleaned off the snow on my own car in the morning without one ounce of complaining. My hubby is quite sick and I knew that was the last thing he needed in the morning.
2. Cooked Chicken Parmesan, a new recipe for me. I love cooking and haven't done much in the past week; we've resorted to easy, sometimes fast food in our chaotic week. Whole wheat pasta and fresh green beans, yay for healthy!
3. Did the ALL the dishes after dinner and wiped down the kitchen. This is HUGE for me. I loathe doing the dishes and am really good at letting them pile up. It was the least I could do for Attila, who did the dishes before I came home from work. Did I mention he's been sick?! I am making him go to the doctor tomorrow!
There ya go, my small successes. I give them to you, Lord. Your grace was a help!
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