A little Disciple

This week has been jam-packed with so much!  First off, in answer to my last post, we have TWO bottom teeth fully visible and totally sharp!  Secondly, we have already been to 4 Christmas parties, with many more to come as we go to South Bend next week.  Crazy. 

At these Christmas parties, two of which were very big parties at our church, I realized what a "little disciple" our Attila James is.  Seriously, could he bring anymore of the Lord's Joy to those around him?  We had a party for our youth group and everytime I came up to a teen/group of teens, James lit up and was so sweet with them.  He would smile and laugh at them and even reach out to touch their faces.  I have found this is his present form of affection.  To reach out and feel all around your face.  Some people, he really loves to grab lips (our friend Nick and Attila).  He loves to grab noses.  Sometimes, he will even lean in and give a baby kiss to people (ya know, mouth wide open, drool all over your cheek)!  And for one friend of ours, he closed his little eyes and nuzzled his forehead against theirs.  It was the cutest thing.  Then when we go shopping, so many people love him!  I'm sure most Moms experience this with their babies.  I love to see people light up when they see our son.  Babies are such blessings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so many times, as James will sit and babble (or scream, hehe) I love to think to myself that Jesus Christ, GOD HIMSELF, was once like this little boy!  And Mary had the amazing gift to sit and watch in adoration the purity, innocence and joy of Our Lord.  O mystery of mysteries... The Word became Flesh, and dwelt among us!

Merry Christmas!  I can't wait to share of our adventures in cold, snow-filled (hopefully) Indiana!

A missing tooth...

Our little James is teething.  This is obvious by his unexplainable fussiness and his need to always have something in his mouth; he will forcefully put something in his mouth and fuss and fuss until its something that satisfies his needs to chomp.  BUT there is no sign of an impending tooth.  No raised bumps, no white coming through his gums.  His gums looks the same as they did when he was a newborn.  I feel like this little man has been teething for MONTHS and it has been particularly bad for over a week now.  I just had to rant!  And say, "Come, little toother, come, let my son out of his misery (for now, atleast)"!!!  The end.  I wish I could write more, but baby is asleep and I am home on a break from a retreat that I am helping out with for our seniors.  Tomorrow, Attila and I are giving talks about feminity/masculinity as Christians and how that applies to dating.  With a couple weeks until we go home to South Bend, we are anxiously waiting to see our familia but trying to keep our focus on the task laid out for us here in Tejas!  Love to you all!

A Day in the Life (sort of)

So, many times through out a week, I comment to Attila about how "upside down" our lives are.  Completely different then our quiet, laid back life in Frankfort.  Some good friends of ours hate the word "busy" (because it is so easy to use that as an excuse for things) but I hate to say that our life is busy, especially compared to what it was in Indiana.  And I have to admit it, I kinda like it!  Through some of the crazy days, though, we still have peace and joy, from our great Lord, who has us where He wants us.  Yay!  I thought I would share what a typical day looks like for us:

6:30 AM - Momma wakes up to get ready for work
7:30 AM - Nurse baby, get things gathered for work, and head out!
8:00 AM - Usually at work by now.  Morning announcements. (Attila and baby at home sleeping in together)
8:25 AM - Teaching Church History to Juniors (I have 9 students in this class)
9:20 AM - First period is over so I had back home. 
9:30 AM - Nurse baby, breakfast time for family, play time with baby (or nap time if he didn't sleep in)
10:00 AM - On certain days, Attila will start to head into work.  If not, we get the morning together to relax and play with Attila James.  Sometimes we take turns entertaining baby so the other can lesson plan (Attila plans Confirmation nights and Middle School youth group nights, so he basically lesson plans, too).
12:00 ish - Lunch for whole family (if T went into work earlier he comes home for lunch.)  Baby nurses and will usually eat a little bit of oatmeal mixed with fruit (purreed of course).  At this time he is usually waking up from a nap or needs to go down for a nap.
12:30 - play time OR nap time for baby.  Mom and Dad get housework done or other work.  Or relax.
1:45 PM - Gather stuff for work and pack the diaper bag for the day (somedays we will leave earlier to have some family prayer time at the church)
2:00 - Mom back to work to teach 2 afternoon classes (Introduction to Catholicism with Freshmen and PE).  Dad and baby to Most Precious Blood (our church and Attila's work) where Dad does work while baby naps/plays in the office.  Since James is now eating solids, Attila is usually able to feed him while Mom is gone, which is nice.  He eats green beans or carrots and has a little bit of water.
4:00 - Momma is done with work and heads to the church to see the boys (the school and church are about 2 blocks from eachother).  Nurse baby and Mom and baby play till Dad is done with work.  This is where things can get crazy:
              -On Mondays, we stay and pray the Rosary with our friends at 5 pm then Attila has a middle school planning meeting at about 5:30.  Mom and baby go home and Dad gets a ride home and is home around 7.
             -Attila has Tuesdays off, which is when Mom makes yummy dinner and we have a nice evening at home.
             -On Wednesdays, there is Lifeteen (which is our Confirmation class).  There are over 150 teens that are signed up.  So its basically "all hands on deck" for the night. We have girls come in to babysit while Attila runs the night and I lead a small group.  We eat dinner at the Church.  The class starts at 6:30 and we are not home from everything until about 10 pm at night!  But we love it.  The teens love Attila James, too!
             -Thursdays, Attila sometimes stays for an event for teens that we have called "Young Apostles".  There are 3 Youth Ministers at the Church and not all of them need to be there for it.  If he stays, he's not home till after 9, otherwise, he works during the day and we go home together at 5 pm.
              -Fridays - Attila works during the day and we have the evening together UNLESS there is a retreat (which lasts all weekend). Currently he is on a "camping retreat" for the weekend.  The next retreat is in January and then in March.  Also, we will probably start going to athletic games at the high schools more regularly on Fridays. 
              -Saturday - day off for Attila!  Momma will take a couple hours to lesson plan.  We do housework and grocery shopping.  Go to church at 5:30 pm.  Saturday nights we try to hang out with friends!
              -Sunday - another big day for Attila's work.  If we didn't go to church Saturday evening, we go in the morning and Attila heads into work at 1 pm.  "The Edge" (middle school youth group) is at 3 pm and the High school Bible Study is at 6:30 pm.  He is not home until 10 pm.  I get to spend time resting, finishing up things for work, and playing with baby!

I hope that gives y'all an idea about how a day/week goes for us.  For Attila's work, since he is ministering to the youth, they are always trying to improve at "relational ministry" so as time goes on, he will be spending more time with the teens, like going to lunch at the high schools and attending high school events.  Basically, we spend a lot of time at church!  But like I said, we love it.  We love serving the Lord and it works for our family.  God bless!

Milestones

I thought I would update y'all real quick about what it is this Teeny Valentiny has been up to.  I was just sitting on the couch with him in my lap, scrolling through the internet.  I had a cup next to the computer.  Attila James lifted himself up from the sitting position, leaned himself against the side of the couch, and reached out to grab my glass.  So I gave it to him and he proceeded to try and lift it and put it to his mouth.  TOO BIG!  He wants to grab, grab, grab.  Right now he is rolling around on the floor, trying to get to the computer cords.  Here is a list of new things he does since we've moved:

Roll around to get to places he wants to be, from his back to his belly, from his belly to his back.

On his back or his belly, he reaches for things in his sight and will "shimmy" his way toward them.

Eats solids everyday now.  Cereal once a day mixed with fruit and we just started adding half a container of veggies around dinner.  Somedays he eats more then others.

Yells, quite loud. 

Gets frustrated very easily while trying to maneauver toys/objects.  Gets frustrated when he can't grab what he wants.

Sits up and plays.  He will still fall every now and then, but I've been watching him the past couple of days catch his balance when he's about to fall over. 

Loves to watch himself in the mirror. 

Loves to bang his chubby little hands on every surface, even Momma's flabby belly :)

Wants to holds every utensil, plate, and cup that Mom and Dad use.

Is teething like a maniac.

Loves to be tickled.  Wants to be entertained most of the time and will fuss until someone is sitting near him while he plays. 

Hates being strapped in the car seat.

Loves loves loves to play with Daddy.

Is experiencing seperation anxiety from Momma.

Takes better naps for Daddy then he does for Momma. 

Loves to sleep in in the morning with Dad while Momma goes to work.  As much as I wish I was a full time stay at home Mommy, I love that Attila and James are getting some great time together.  Attila has been gone now for 2 whole days on retreat and I can tell that baby misses him.  It is too sweet.  Yay for amazing Dads!

We've been to the beach a couple of times and James does NOT like being close to the waves.  They scare him :(  But I'm sure in the spring it will be a different story. 

More to come later!

Update to our crazy, but so blessed life!

This is going to be a quick post seeing that our life right now has been taken up a notch...or two...or three notches maybe!  We've moved to Corpus Christi, Texas.  It was all very quick and sudden, hence why we've basically dropped off the face of the earth.  Attila accepted a job as a Coordinator of Youth Ministry in the middle of August and a couple weeks later, to our surprise, I was offered and accepted a part time teaching job as well.  Back at the end of June, we had no intentions of moving to Texas.  Little by little, God set out little markers along the way pointing us there in the month of July.  The month of August was like an extreme gush of Holy Spirit wind moving in our lives so that we would get the message clear that we were being called down here.  By the middle of September, me and the baby flew down so that I could start my teaching job and find us a place to live (we stayed with amazing friends).  By the first of October, Attila was down here with literally everything we owned stuffed in a U-Haul.  We hadn't found a place to live yet, so we stayed with some more awesome friends while all our stuff stayed in storage.  This could've been such a stressful, hard time.  But we had the peace of Our Lord and great friends who supported us.  Finally, we are in our own apartment, almost all unpacked.  It's a cute little place and I am already enjoying decorating and making it feel like home.  God has us where he wants us and our hearts are resting in Him.  He has been so faithful to the desires of our hearts, providing for us every step of the way.  We would've never imagined Texas, but we're here, putting all our trust in the One who saves, fulfills and satisfies our souls. 

It is very different down here, yes.  Almost everyday its sunny and hot, with a nice wind.  We're adjusting just fine!  We've already been to the beach a few times.  But we do miss the fall weather and our wonderful family and friends.  We love you all and we're so thankful for your patience with us since we were not able to tell everyone personally about this move due to the speed at which this all happened.  We hope you understand.   We're sad that we didn't get to say goodbye to everyone, either, but there really aren't any goodbyes in this life.  We'll see you all soon!  Pictures and more stories to come!

All our love!

Safe, Certain, and Permanent

"By the time a child comes to the age of reason home, with all its order, happiness, and beauty, means just one thing to him: certainty.  In this respect home is to him precisely what God is to him, it is safe and certain and permanent, not simply because it is a house with four walls and a roof, but because it is built on the rock of love, his parents' love for God, and for one another, and for him." - Caryll Houselander

My heart.

I do hope I can have an orderly home :)  But, I know there will be NO shortage of love, beauty and happiness, by God's sweet grace and mercy.

Become like children

This whole past week, Attila and I have been putting on Vacation Bible School (along with other volunteers, of course).  As much as it was stressful to plan this year (we were NOT as organized as last year, but do the kiddies care?) we have had fun and have been in awe of the purity and innocence of these beautiful children.  It is such a joy to work with them and to learn from them.  These kids are our friends, really.  We had a woman from the diocese come check out our VBS program yesterday and she made a really good point.  VBS is usually 15 hours for one week in the summer.  Religious ed. on Sundays during the school year lasts about 30 ish weeks and each session is usually about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.  VBS is half that!  It really is a great tool to teach the children about our faith in the middle of the school break, and to surround them with God's love and His grace.  We had such a great group of kiddos who were soaking up anything we tell them about the Lord.  And we had water games.  What else do you need, really?!

I have some good memories of VBS from when I was little.  Planning the crafts and seeing everything come together this week gets me so excited for when our little James is ready to engage his faith like this.  The crafts alone get me thinking of so many crafts that I can do with him at home!  And he survived this week.  He was barely home during the daytime, he witnessed the stress of his parents, and he's been introduced to a large group of crazy, loud children.  Today, he spent some time with two of our little friends who are 7 and 8.  He loooooved watching them run around.  He would sit, watch them with excitement, and move his little legs so fast, wishing he could join them.  Too cute!

Praise God.  "The disciples asked Jesus, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?  He called a child, whom he put among them and said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever welcome one such child in my name, welcomes me."  Matthew 18:2-5

Look what I can do!

So, I wanted to try uploading videos on here to see if it was quicker that facebook, but not really!  I was going to post some more videos later.  This is James playing with favorite toy, Mr. Golden Sun.  It's so exciting to see him develop!  This was probably taken two weeks ago. 

Make sure to cjeck facebook for more photos :)

Also, I'm thinking of a new title for our blog, soo keep an eye out!

Parenting

Now that our "teeny Valentiny" (who is not so teeny anymore) is here, I plan on using this blog to post about some of our ideas about parenting and education.  Especially now that James is developing so fast; almost everyday he hits new milestones and it is so exciting.  I love being attentive to how I can help all his areas of development.  Attila and I are totally invested in helping him grow to have complete trust and security with us so he has nothing to do but grow into a happy and whole person.  And by "whole person" I mean we will try our best to put all of our love and energy into who he is emotionally, intellectually, socially, and most of all spiritually.  We aren't perfect parents and never will be, but by the grace of God, he will grow up as part of a unified, peaceful, and safe family environment. 

My first installment of this is to introduce a style of parenting that Attila and I have sort of "adopted".  I am going to include a link that can explain it better then I can.  It's called "Attachment Parenting".  It really is just a starting point for T and I as parents, we'll see where we go with it through out our life.  We're most attracted to the idea of listening to your child's needs and getting to know them the best we can.  It encourages listening to your own instincts as a parent, and not what others tell you you should be doing. Like I said, we're totally invested in our child and this is an extension of our hearts desires.  If you're curious, check out the link, and don't hesitate to ask questions.  Don't be turned off by the name of the style of parenting.  Our goal is not to have a 6 year old child who clings to our leg everywhere we go, as I think people often picture when they hear "attachment parenting."  Even I was totally turned off when I first heard about this.  And I will admit I've lacked courage in letting people know this is what we're trying to do.  But how can I be ashamed of trying to love and provide security for my baby? 

Ultimately, we understand that there are many ways to parent and there is no right or wrong in parenting, as long as you're motivated by free, total, unconditional love!

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/what-ap-7-baby-bs

So many clothes!

This week is a week of denial and stretching.  Let me explain:

My son is/has grown out of 0-3 months sized clothes.  But I am too lazy to switch them out for the next size up.  Part of this is because we don't have anything to put the old clothes in and partly because I don't want to wash and fold and put away all the 3-6 months clothes.  So I am stretching how long he can really last in 0-3 months.

He also has soooo many clothes, many which are cute and were given as gifts and probably haven't been worn much so I feel the need to make sure he wears everything atleast once.  Some days, I put on a cute outfit, only for him to spit up/pee/poop all over it before we can take a pic or get out in public for people to see.   Then I think, "Why do people pay good money on new clothes for babies that are cute and what not when the child could care less?"  By the generosity of others, we haven't bought many clothes ourselves and when we do, we go to Goodwill or Once Upon a Child. 

I sometimes think that our next baby should be a boy so we don't have to buy new clothes for a girl, haha!  But our family would buy us clothes for a girl, I;m sure.  I can't even imagine how many clothes we would collect if we had a girl and how much more I will try to put her in all the cute clothes.   

This whole week has been pretty laid back.  I've atleast managed to cook dinner everyday and do the dishes.  When I do the dishes, I put James in his highchair, pull him next to the sink, and talk to him about things.  He just laughs and smiles.  I think he likes the sound of the running water.  Maybe he likes to hear me talk ;)  He also loved watching me bake a pie on Monday.  It was my first pie - strawberry and raspberry.  Yum yum! 

I also need to go to the store today, but baby is sleeping and I'm watching soccer :)  Maybe later...

Proud baby keep on rolling...

We had a good weekend.  James had a hard day Friday night when we went to a friend's house and then again Monday at Attila's parents.  Monday morning was very rough on him so we decided to stay put and not try to go to see some more friends and family.  It was hard for me to know that we weren't going to see certain people, but it was best for our son.  Sunday was the best day.  We went to the mall, where he fell asleep in Dad's arms and then to a friends house, where he did really well.  He was quite social, really!

Tuesday morning we drove back home and settled in at home for the day.  It was a big day for Attila James!  He had a very messy diaper and peed on himself when I was changing it, so we took a bath.  When the bath was done, of course he peed on himself again.  At lunch, Dad came home and we decided to have tummy time.  See, he really hates tummy time so I've been forcing us to do it so he gets more used to it.  Over the weekend when we tried it, he did really well and held his head up really high.  This particular tummy time he rolled over!  It brought tears to my eyes, hehe :)  It is so neat to see him develop and get to new milestones.  Today (Wednesday) we noticed how much he was watching us eat lunch, and we even watched as he mimicked chewing.  Yikes, I was thinking it may be awhile before we start solids, but he may be ready in a couple months.  We'll see!  We also watched him focus on deliberatlely moving his leg up to kick my knee.  He's the coolest kid, ever!

I feel like we're in a strange limbo period.  James loves to be awake and play, but there comes a point when all of the sudden, his mood changes and he's crabby and super tired.  I just don't know how to prevent these sudden outbursts that are evidently him overstimulated and tired.  I really don't know how I feel about putting him on a "schedule" where I try to get him to nap at specific times during the day.  I think he's too young for that and that it would be exhausting to almost "sleep train" him.  We've just started getting in the routine of bedtime at the same time every night and wake up for the day every day at roughly the same time.  Some days he seems to need more sleep; other days not so much.  It's a waiting game and a balance game, I guess! 

And today, there was no rolling over at tummy time :(  But the day is not over and I know it may be awhile before he does it again...

On the road again...

This week has been the first week where I felt like we were really on a do-able routine.  Bed time everynight at the same time, wake-up routine the same everyday, walks outside everyday at the same time, etc.  Last weekend was a particularly hard weekend for James (he had many bouts of inconsolable crying).  This week, I tried some new tactics to calming him and it was a good week, if I should say so myself. 

We're going to South Bend for the Fourth of July weekend.  Now, I feel like the classic Mom, who dreads a trip because of the fact that it is going to disrupt this routine and possibly throw my child back into disorganization and chaos.  Don't get me wrong, I am excited about seeing family and friends, but I hope its not all too hard on my little boy.  Since he is more awake these days, his naptimes are that more important and I'm a little worried about him getting passed around so much that he won't be able to get good rest in.  Since we dont see family and friends as often as we (and they) would like, everyone always wants to play and hold him.  I'm going to be honest, pull out the "first time Mom" card, and if he is sleeping, insist he stays in one spot or with one person until he is rested.  Any advice for me?  Should I not worry so much and just roll with the punches?  Of course, and by the end of the weekend, I'm sure I'll be thinking, "What was I so worried about?"

Happy Fourth of July everyone.  May God bless our country and shower us with the grace that we need to live in dignity and truth. 

We're back!

So, after many months of being absent from this, we're back.  Life is falling into routine now with our little man.  He's 3 months old now!  He's more then doubled his birth weight and is right on track with his developmental skills.  Except he hates tummy time and I hate feeling like I am torturing him, so we're slowly working on getting more tummy time in.  He can hold his head up, though, when you hold him over your shoulder.  He definitely prefers to have us hold him up so he can flex his little legs, or sit on our laps so he can kick and kick and kick (kick our stomachs that is)!  We're getting more aware of when he is just bored and wants to be moved around until he finds a sight in the house to observe and look at.  It's so cute.  And he's even getting too long for some of his 0-3 months sized clothes.  It's so crazy to look back at his pictures from the NICU or when we first brought him home; he was so little.  At that time I didn't know he was so little.  When people say he's little now, I am flabbergasted almost, but I have to remember that strangers weren't there from the beginning. 

Look forward to more!  As I often sit and hold a sleeping baby, I do research on some things and I am excited to share some insights I've come to about parenting.  This post is a bit unorganized as I am between laundry loads and straightening up the house while hoping my child stays asleep in his swing! 

Birth Story Part II

The finished version:

After the whole day of labor, the contractions started to de intensify and the dialation stopped expanding.  That was the biggest emotional blow we had both received.  The water was broken, the pitocin intake was high, but my body was just not ready to birth the baby. 

We decided to wait it out during the rest of the night to see if anything would change, and it did not.  So the morning was spent getting ready for a C-Section.  So at around 1:25 PM Alycia was taken back to the OR and at 1:45 our son was born. 

He came out screaming, which was such a relief.  We had heard so many other babies scream coming out of their mother, that we just couldn't wait to hear our baby be alive and well.  He cleaned up great, and already had normal color.  His breathing was stable which was the biggest area of concern for the hospital staff.  Our first born son was finally here and what a joy it was to know he was in good hands.  He was born 19 cm's long and at 5 lbs 1 oz. 

His time in the NICU was nothing short of amazing.  He progressed so well.  They told us to expect to be in the hospital for 3-4 weeks, and he ended up only being in the hospital for 12 DAYS.  He progressed with his breathing, feeding, maintaining his temperature out of the incubator, and weight gain, that we were able to bring him home April 2nd. 

We of course msut give a short shout out to the hospital staff treating mom and the baby.  They took care of us as if we were their own family, and made things so much better.  They calmed us in times of stress, they provided for every need, and did everything with the utmost professionalism and care.  IU Health Arnett is a great hospital!!

So, after 60 hours of labor, so many mixed emotions, so many highs and lows, as we like to call it: the journey through the desert ended, and replaced with joy once he was born.  The prayers of so many carried us through this time testing us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.  Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and loving, we have a deeper understanding of the word family.  We can't wait to show him to the rest of our family and friends, so we can share our joy together.

Our Birth Story

On Wednesday, March 16, Attila and I headed to our 34 week check up.  It was right after I got out of work and on the way there, I put my feet up in the car and noticed how incredibly swollen they were; the worse I had ever seen.  I was also feeling weak and dizzy.  When we got to the office, my blood pressure was pretty high and they decided to check my protein urine count.  It was also up.  Literally in the time span of half an hour, they admitted me into the hospital fearing it could be pre eclampsia.  I was very emotional at that point, of course.  We drove over to the hospital (stopping by 40 Days for Life and asking them to pray for us) and I got wheeled up to a room.  Right away I was hooked up to blood pressure monitor and had labs taken.  They checked my BP every 15 minutes and it was all over the place, reaching into the 180s.  By 9 pm, it was decided that I would do a 24 hour urine sample test which would tell us if it really was pre eclampsia.  So we geared up to spend the night in the hospital.

The next day, Thursday, was just about waiting and going pee.  Our midwife, Sharon, would come in and out and give us results of the blood tests, which were OK but showing early signs of pre eclampsia.  At one point we talked about maybe looking at bedrest but at another point, the reality of an emergency c section was laid before us.  If my labs continued to get worse, showing my kidneys and liver getting worse, then it would be a c section.  The 24 hours were up Thursdsay night, but we waited until Friday morning to hear and discuss the news. 

Friday morning came, and I had high levels of protein in my urine.  But my lab results were still Ok.  And my blood pressure was still high.  At that point, it was clear that we would try inducing labor.  So now there was a series of tests to determine if baby was strong enough for labor.  They had given me steroid shots to help the baby's lungs mature, too.  We did an ultrasound and found out that the baby weighed about 5 pounds, which really put our hearts at ease a bit.  It was so crazy to think that we could soon be meeting our little man.  That night, they also started me on Magnesium Sulfate to protect my body from seizure and stroke during labor.  It was intense.  First, to realize seizures and stroke were a possibility and second the drug had very strong side effects.  I was woozy and dizzy most of the time and it gave me hot flashes.  At dinner time, they started a round of prostoglandin on my cervix to soften it and dialate it in preparation for pitocin in the morning.

We woke Saturday and found out I was dialated 1 cm and 50 % effaced.  The pitocin was started.  Most of the day not much happened in terms of contractions.  I was very exhausted and so out of it from the medication I was on.  The magnesium is known to relax the uterus, so that was working against what the pitocin should've done.  Our families came to visit that day and I think it was very hard for them to see me in the state I was.  By dinner Saturday, I had not made any progress in terms of dialation.  We waited a little longer, and later that night the doctor let me have a break from the pitocin and cut the magnesium dose in half, so I would start to feel better.  And I got to eat a full meal, which I hadn't had since Friday night.  They also put me back on the prostoglandin to work on dialating me some more.  I got some sleep and I would be checked Sunday morning.

On Sunday morning, I was dialated 2 cm and 80 % effaced.  Not too much progress.  By Sunday around noon (I think, i've lost track of all the times), we decided to break my waters, hoping that would speed up labor.  After my waters were broke, they started me on pitocin again.  We were pretty hopeful this time.  As exhausted as I was, I still wanted to have a vaginal birth, and the hospital staff was not quick to solve things with a c-section, which I appreciated.  The contractions were much stronger this time and I even found myself praying for painful contractions - it would mean labor was progressing!  Since my water had been broken, they didn't want to check me that often for risk of infection, so they checked me once late at night and I was 3 cm dialated and.  After the whole day of labor

The Sacrifices

I just wrote an entire post that got deleted!  Aagh!  So now I will try my best to remember what I had written the first time around...

I haven't posted in a month!  I hate to say that February was "busy" (because that term is used so lightly as an excuse to not do things) but we had a lot going on. Normally, I would've thrived off of all we had planned (youth group functions and retreats, many meetings at Church, a quick trip to South Bend, visits to the doctor, baby shower planning + registering, plus grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning with full time jobs) but being 8 months pregnant takes a toll!  There hasn't been many nights at home for the evening to relax. Attila is even gone right now at a meeting in Lafayette and I could've gone to another church function, but I needed to stay home!

In the past month, pregancy has showed up in full force.  I will say, and most women agree, the second trimester was AWESOME!  It's a special time when you start feeling the baby move.  Now that I'm well into the third trimester, I still love being pregnant and experiencing this little life within me.  But more and more each day there is the realization that my body is not my own.  There is another person growing inside of me, and theres less and less room for both of us to live comfortably everyday.  I feel like I am officially apart of the pregnancy experience; I've been initiated now that I am experiencing all the stereotypical symptoms. 

Lots of burps!  If I move from laying down to sitting up, its a given that I will burp many times in a row!  And lots of peeing.  I am constantly aware of my bladder.  This baby's head is right where it needs to be, meaning its right on top of my bladder and meaning I waddle as fast as I can when I feel like I may explode. It can be painful!  It doesn't help that my mother in law told me Attila was born with a big head, and I am convinced this baby will have a big head, too.  This head has to be big with how much pain I'm in :)  I am also beginning to feel my lungs and ribs smooshed by the top of my growing uterus, hence why I may sound outta breath if you talk to me on the phone or in person.  My carpel tunnel is getting worse, but I have a splint which helps a lot.  And then there is the swelling!  When I weighed in this week at the docs, I had gained 6 pounds in 2 weeks.  The doc looked at my legs and knew I am retaining water.  My legs look like tree trunks and my toes look like sausages!  I am quite fascinated (and a lil disgusted) at what my ankles look like.  I have to lay low on the sodium and keep drinking water! 

We're also in "preparation for labor" mode.  Since we're planning on a natural birth, it's "go time" to really kick exercises and stretches into gear.  My cute husband is my "coach" and is taking this role seriously.  Today, he was so adament on doing the exercises and stretches.  But its good, I really need him to help me prepare my body for labor.  We're entering a new phase of this pregnancy and of our marriage, really.  He's getting to know my body more, too and I'm only going to rely on him more and more to help me out physically.  Sometimes, I do fall into the trap of thinking "you have no idea what I'm going through" or "you won't ever have to experience the pains of labor" mentality and harbor feelings of resentment toward him for still being to live a normal functioning life.  But he is taking such an active role in being my "coach" that I really think he WILL experience what I do and labor will be just as demanding on him.  He already sacrifices so much to help me be more comfortable everyday and our marriage is becoming more of the reality "two become one".  The TWO of us are sacrificing and preparing as if we were one person, in union, working together to bring the fruit of our love into this world! 

God is so great and has blessed us beyond measure!  I don't think its a coincidence that I'm due right after Easter, and that the most difficult part of pregnancy will be during Lent.  God is refining me and my little family and bringing us even closer to the beauty of His Cross and His Glory.  Amen, so be it!

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my dear husband, Attila's, birthday.  I love celebrating his birthday because its a time to thank God for the immense blessing he is in my life.  This year I wanted it to be a super special birthday because its the last one before children enter the picture.  I wanted us to spend quality time together.  God knew this desire of my heart, too, because school was cancelled and his car was stuck in the road, so we got to spend the whole day in rest and thanksgiving!  I'd like to lift up my beloved and tell you why I love him so!

Attila is a man after God's heart and His will.  Marriage is a blessing because we get to know eachother's minds and hearts intimately.  After knowing him this long and walking with him to Our Lord, I can say that the desire of his heart is to please God.  We both fall in our commitments to God regularly, but he always gets back up, however painful that may be, and perseveres.  He gently brings me back up with him or he humbly allows me to help him, too.  He is always asking the Lord to help him be more disciplined so that he may be a better servant of His.  And he has grown in this!  I've known Attila for about 9 years, since late junior high and early high school.  I've seen firsthand how he has grown in virtue and it makes me so proud.  I must give God glory for his refining fire. 

Attila gave his life to the Lord around the time I met him, and for this I am FOREVER grateful.  He is the man, husband, father, son, and friend he is today because of his "yes" so early on.  He was given the grace to make good decisions and lead a pure, committed life as a teen and young adult.  The Lord knew my heart so well and what I needed, and he fashioned this in Attila.  He prepared a home and family for me in Attila's heart.  How many men at the age of 16 are on the right path in order to be a noble husband and father?  Because of my husband's surrender to God, he is now so willing to give himself for me and those in his life whom he is called to serve.  He is a protector and a provider.  He is faithful and committed.  He loves me unconditionally.  He treats me with gentleness and mercy.  He is strong.  He is sacrificial; giving up certain things in his life so that he may follow God better and serve our family better. 

I am so excited to fall in love with him even deeper as I see him assume the role of father.  There are things about him waiting to come forward and give glory to God.  Next year, I will be able to reflect on those!  I do know that our family is safe from so many things because of the man Attila is.  I am so hopeful to watch our children grow up under the safety and protection of his leadership and example.  I am confident that he will continue to lead us to Christ and His eternal peace!  Thank you, God, for Attila Joseph!

Prep time

We had our first childbirth preparation class this morning.  It was very different from what I imagined, ya know, the prep classes from all the shows, where you learn the "Lamaze" way of breathing.  Next week we will learn about breathing techinques and different positions to try, but this week we watched some videos and learned about the labor process in depth, while being able to answer questions.  I really enjoyed our nurse who taught us.  She offered a lot of insight and wisdom.  Attila and I both agreed it was really good to learn about the different stages of labor and what to expect for each one.  It brought our minds to ease, especially about when to know the right time of going to the hospital.  This week, we learned about what to expect in a natral childbirth and next week we will learn about all the "interventions" that can happen.  Our nurse really stressed that if you're choosing a natural childbirth, the critical time is the "transition" phase, when contractactions and pain can be the most intense. She said, honestly, this is when most moms say "I can't do this anymore!"  She stressed to talk with your "support person" (aka my hubby) before labor begins so they know if they need to talk you through this time or to listen to what you want in that moment and let the nurses know if pain meds can really be administered.   She said some moms who do ask for an epidural at this time will afterward say they wished they wouldn't have gotten one because it wasn't much longer till baby was born.  Many moms who do have a natural birth very quickly forget the pain and say "That wasn't so bad!" 

We watched a video of a couple's journey in labor and it was really inspiring.  The woman was very honest about her pain.  They checked her at one point and she was 5 cm dialated and she said, "Oh you have got to be kidding me, I can't do this anymore".  Her midwife and husband were great at talking her through it.  They also showed the techniques she and her husband used to cope with the pain of contractions, and it was really beautiful to watch them in such harmony.  Their communication was great and they worked really well together.  It was obvious that it wasn't an easy birth but it was a very positive experience for their whole family in the end.  I loved it!  At the beginning of the class, I was a little overwhelmed at how much my body is going to go through and how difficult it may be, but by the end, I was at ease and ready to begin the process of mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself for this labor and birth.  I learned that during the really hard times, I need to be dependant on my husband's support and his encouragement.  Once I am 7-8 cm dialated, it may be difficult, but I have to remember that it WILL be over soon and the end result is a baby!! 

I think we are going to start figuring out what kind of music we want to listen to during labor and I even want to think of ways we can pray throughout it all, too.  Ahh, we are so excited for this new adventure!!!

Growing pains

We have our first childbirth prep class this Saturday, I am so excited! It's going to make things so much more "real", I hope!  I'm getting really anxious for this baby to get here, especially as my body is going through such drastic changes.  I just read on a website the other day that some moms can experience a type of depression during their pregnancy.  I can relate at times.  I will be honest that its not always easy to be joyful during pregnancy, especially when you get a quick glimpse in the mirror of what you now look like.  I've never put on this much weight in so little a time and I feel the past month I haven't been the best at minding how much I eat or the healthiness of what I'm eating and now all of the sudden I feel poopy.  And I've also been experiencing some really crazy growing pains!  Its getting harder and harder to be comfortable at night when I'm trying to sleep, and I often feel like my bladder is going to fall out when I walk! 

But as I was making one of my many trips to the bathroom (and yes, sitting on the toilet) I realized that this is all happening in order that another human person may be brought into this world.  I don't always automatically remember that in times of discomfort and low self-esteem. 

Amidst some of the discomfort, there are times of great joy, too.  These are mostly when this baby is moving around so much.  I just have to laugh out loud sometimes with joy!  The movements are getting so big and strong, I can feel it my butt!  Gotta be honest, I just have to laugh at this sensation!  Another moment of joy and laughter was when I was watching my good friends two little boys after school.  I said, "Guys, the babys kicking, wanna feel?  And the cute little first grader innocently put his hand on my chest instead of my belly and said "Here?".  Then as we watched some PBS show, he just sat there with his hand on my belly, so nonchalantly.  He kept asking "How does the baby get in there?  Little girls don't have bellies with babies, how do big girls get them?" and I would say "You have to be married and love your husband and wife so much" and he just couldn't take that answer.  Not being his parent, I had to leave it at that :)  So cute and innocent, little boys must be so fun :)

The Simple Life

As I hit about the 3 months to go mark, I'm getting very anxious about all that needs to be done before the little one gets here.  Our "guest bedroom" is still a "catch all" with not much room in the closet for new baby clothes and gear.  We still have our bills and files just randomly sitting on top of one of the dressers.  I'd like this room to be the baby's and the status of it right now is a little stressful.  There is also the task of registering for things for our showers and of course, I want to register for things I really think I will use and will really need.  In both of these things, planning the "nursery" and registering for new things, a big part of me wants to get all this cute, new stuff that matches and looks great.  I want a "design" for the baby room.  This would also cost a good amount of money to do all this. 

Something I feel the Lord has been putting on my heart lately is simplicity.  I just desire, and by His grace am able to sometimes, have a simple trust in Him that we will have everything we need for this baby.  Is it crucial to my child's rearing that they have all "cute" and "new" things?  Will they even know the difference if their crib was bought new or used?  20 years from now, will my child say "I really wish my Mom and Dad (and rest of family) bought me a lot more things" ? I'm thinking the answer is no to all this.  In the past couple weeks, the Lord has softened my heart to be so grateful and content with things people are willing to give to us for our baby that are used, free of charge.  Someone has offered to give us their old "pack n play" and a used car seat/ stroller.  Are they going to match everything else?  Probably not. But those are two less things we'll have to buy and I am so grateful for that!  I also know that I can be creative and will make our child's room look "cute" and coordinated, even with a modge podge of things.  It's pretty exciting actually!  The thought of other people helping us out by donating their old stuff to us gives me a great sense of community and am humbled by people's eagerness to help us out. 

Today is the anniversary of Roe V. Wade, the case that legalized abortion.  As I am carrying my unborn child, I have a new awareness and understanding for women who find themselves in scary and tough situations.  And it saddens me that many women choose abortion because they are lacking this sense of a community who are willing to support them.  We fail.  Let us all make the sacrifices needed to lift up the greater good of our community and those individuals who need our help the most.  God grant us the strength to lift up our heads and be compassionate!

The Home Stretch

So,  I haven't posted in like 3 weeks, woops!  Going back to work after Christmas break has been an adjustment and I think things are settling down a little bit.  I decided I would update about how the pregnany is going!

My baby is growing!!  Maybe the next post will be an announcement about the gender, I keep forgetting we haven't put it up here or on Facebook, so many friends from outta town don't know yet!  In the past few weeks, I am so surprised every time I look in the mirror at how many new stretch marks I have!  I haven't been the best at puttin the cocoa butter on, and I know eventually, as I have more kids, the stretch marks would come anyway.  It's something that I myself cannot be worried about and I'm OK with that.  This is my new life!  With stretch marks come some crazy muscle pains, what is called "round ligament pains".  Man oh man, I feel like the muscles in my pelvic area are being pulled like rubber bands.  It hurts most when I've been sitting for a while and I get up too quick.  This baby, as all babies I think, is also putting a lot of pressure on my bladder.  Just walking around can be painful!  I am also losing my sense of balance, which is normal, too.  We went to the doc this past Thursday and I found out I've gained about 20 pounds total, which I'm a little self-conscious about.  I don't FEEL 20 pounds heavier.  Obviously the bulk of weight is in the tummy area too,but I know my hips are also a lil bigger, which is no surprise for my body type! 

Something else that has been happening is that my right hand has been falling asleep at night and I wake up in pain.  I will shake it out, but it goes right back to sleep.  Then when I wake up and am getting ready for the day, I notice that its not so much asleep but when I go to grab something, I feel pain and tingling.  Our midwife said that I probably have carpel tunnel!  I honestly just chalked it up to "poor circulation" but I guess in pregnancy the carpel tunnel nerve that runs down our arm and into our rest, like other things, can become swollen thus causing problems.  Crazy!  So if it gets worse I may be sleeping with a splint, but we'll see. It's just another of those things that surpises me about my pregnant body. 

In a couple weeks we will start our series of Childbirth prep classes.  I'm excited and think it will make things more real.  I'm really excited to start getting Attila more involved by helping me with learning relaxation methods, as we are going to try for a natural childbirth (i.e. no epidural, pitocin, etc.).  Don't worry, if needed we will be in a hospital, so if things need to be induced or an emergency happens, I understand that its ok.  But they will try to be avoided and our midwife is trained in natural childbirth.  As much as I can be scared about experiencing all that pain, I have a feeling that it will be a very good journey for me and my baby and my husband, one that will strengthen our family a whole lot.  If you know me well (like my parents and siblings know this) I don't do well with physical pain and discomfort.  I can be whiny and complainy.  Already, this pregnancy is forcing me outta that (slowly but surely) and I know this pregnancy and birth is going to sanctify me so that I may go outside of myself and unite myself to Our Lord.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I am excited and getting more excited to meet our little one after this time of joyful (and somewhat penitential) time of anticipation!